I look at this picture and realize how soft around the edges I have become. Although, at this point, I still do not know the full extent that this world has impacted my life. I came here with a mission to help those most in need and I sometimes wonder if I was most in need of help and or change. I realize how my experience (or as some call it Journey) is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity and an experience to grow. The Basotho, which I live among endure more than most Americans can imagine. Many Basotho truly live off less than one US dollar a day and still they walk around with no hurt or anger. I am often baffled by this b/c i  can remember being stateside and needing to have anything I set my mind to even if that was a rare bag of Cape Cod Potato chips, salt and vinegar flavor. Here however, when I don’t have what I want and only what I need (necessities) I try to look just a shoulder over and remind myself how I am among such beautiful people who go without on a daily basis with no qualms at all.

Just the other day, where I live, yes in my one room mud and rock hut without any electricity or running water on a very steep mountain, we had a pretty bad snow storm. So bad that all the people within a hundred miles got snowed in. by snowed in, I mean, we could walk and drive within 100 miles but couldn’t come to the lowlands, like Maseru. Our “look out” otherwise known as the one and only pass through to civilization was CLOSED for 3 full days!~ And for those days none of the Basotho went scurrying to the local supermarket to stock up on water, milk, bread or meat – all they did was try to keep themselves warm where no heat existed. I think about how strange this is, because when New England is warned about a possible Nor Easter, we all are run to the local mart and clean the shelves as if it’s World War I. it’s strange how The United States lives on means that are not available and people are usually never in the moment and always trying to get where they are Not by being over prepared and stressed. Here I am living a lifestyle that tells me, although I love USA, Americans live beyond their means and overreact – me included. But this world is helping me see that there is more to life than Cobey Briant, the Late Night Show and the weather forcast.

This lifestyle has become so much of me and I don’t even realize it until I am able to allow myself to sit back and observe. When I wake in the morning I no longer think about how clean I am or who I have to impress or what bills need to be paid before I car is re-poed. I honestly think about how I can be of better help to my people, the Basotho. I don’t question whether or not it’s too cold to go outside when I know its nearly 20F and too muddy to take a run, I simply throw on my hiking boots, grab my hiking poles, throw on some tech wear and head down the slippery mountain almost falling 20 times. I never question if I should wait on the side of the road for more than a half an hour for a ride, I know it’s inevitable – I will wait longer without a choice. It makes complete sense to me to go to bed when the sun goes down and wake when the sun comes up. I feel lucky when I am about to hand my mail off to KS when he is going to the lowlands and never think twice when it sits in his American backpack for over a week b/c his plans got changed and he never made it to the lowlands as expected. I realize that when I so easily forget what life back home was like and how steadfast I was just 1.8 months ago, I have integrated as Peace Corps hoped.  I have become the volunteer that I imagined, accepting this lifestyles as my own.

I never fully understood that saying that most moms hung in their kitchens –

“HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS”

In part, to me it was just a picture or words that my mom thought would make her home become more of a home. However, 6,000 miles from “home”, I finally realize what it means. It no longer carries distant meaning to me! I internalize my home now in my heart. I see and understand that my home lies only where I feel happiest. At this time in my life, I feel happiest just where I am – helping people in a developing country. Home, to me, is no longer a physical address. It’s not tangible; however, it is a very real place within me.

I live a life many can’t even imagine, not even the closest relatives to me, “Tarsha, do you really soak your clothes in the bucket and cook all of your food from scratch?” If I can bring home only the faintest of what I am experiencing here, I will be a better person for this world.